faq hotlines buddies me ask

fartgallery:

4/20? You mean 1/5 reduce your fractions did you even learn math

(via omg-look-at-me)

lecterings:

'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.

(via omg-look-at-me)

urbanfuck:

urbanfuck:

urbanfuck:

anal sneezes are cute as shit

sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time

image

this is not what i want to be remembered for

(via tears-on-my-suicide-notes)

babylizard:

billhitchert:

billhitchert:

I just realized that “mini” is short for “minimal” and I feel like my whole life has been turned upside down

Wait that’s not even true it’s short for “miniature” FUCK MY LIFE

minimal golf. not too much golf. just enough golf so it wont piss you off.

My mom owns a minimal van

(Source: billhitchert, via fuckyeahhdinosaurs)

novas-grimoire:

wikatiepedia:

crimsoncamellianeko:

forimuchdesiretospeakwithhim:

wikatiepedia:

from now on I’m going to convey sarcasm over the internet by typing like this

oh wow look how sarcastic that looks

that actually does look really sarcastic though. this is revolutionary

DEAR GOD SOMEONE HAS INVENTED THE SARCASM FONT THIS IS A TIME FOR CELEBRATION

image

(Source: wikatiepedia, via fuckyeahhdinosaurs)

if i ever date a famous boy and i got hate for it i’d honestly be the most sarcastic bitch ever to them i’d be like lol can’t hear you over the great sex we just had

(Source: kathrynknowles, via omg-look-at-me)

lady-tromboss:

imagine getting married

after many months of planning, you’re standing at the altar with your significant other in a beautiful room filled with all of your friends and your family

and every single person in that room over age 10 knows you’re getting laid tonight

(via omg-look-at-me)

silohouettes:

The difference between period pains and getting kicked in the balls is that one is a compulsory monthly event and the other one is probably because you were being a dick.

(via fuckyeahhdinosaurs)

http://theplaceforpenpals.tumblr.com/post/92338690529/name-katie-age-15-location-alabama-usa-hi

theplaceforpenpals:

name: Katie

age: 15

location: Alabama, USA

hi there! my name is Katie (obviously) and I’m a slightly quirky high schooler from a semi-small town in Alabama. I’m pretty easy to get along with, but some things make me rather angry like

-bullying / rude people / lying / arrogance / and…

appr-eciate:

can i get 6281937366328$ for new clothes please

(via last-seen-in-sanfrancisco)